High school can be difficult, especially
for girls. There are going to be a lot of things that girls haven't
experienced before that they will in these next four years. Guys can be
jerks, but it is part of what is expected from them by society. I
remember being in High School and am going to fill freshman girls in
on some secrets I have, and explain why things are the way that they
are between the opposite sexes. Furthermore, please don't have a relationship
in high school. I had a relationship in high school, and now I wish that I
would have had fun and just enjoyed those four years. I believe every girl
should go into high school with some prior knowledge of males’ roles in society
because in society many girls don't know anything about this until after high
school, and they end up making big mistakes, or getting hurt.
As a young girl entering high
school, girls may not realize or even believe everything I am going to
tell them. But I am speaking from experience because I was once that young girl,
and have just now started to realize a lot of things I didn't know then. As a
high school girl I'm sure the things on your mind are clothes, music,
friends, parties, and boys of course. At this point in life those things are
the most important, and when something goes wrong, high school girls may
think the world is over, and trust me I've been there. My mom used to tell me
not to get serious with a guy, and that they were just boys, but I didn't care
to listen. I am just trying to give the advice and information that I wish I had
listened to going into high school.
Being a girl that is entering high
school means facing many challenges: a lot of peer pressure, sex, drugs and
alcohol, love, hate, temptations, the need to fit in, trying to be accepted,
getting boys’ attention, and many other factors. For example, there is a school
called Piedmont High School in Southern California, where there is a fantasy
slut league that was created by boys to earn points for having sexual
encounters with certain girls. This league had been going on for years with no
prior knowledge about it, but it is said that all activity has stopped. Girls
need to be wanted, and even if it comes to being degraded, it becomes
okay as long as it earns them some popularity points, and a feeling of
being needed. It is very sad that some of the girls at Piedmont High
School admitted to knowing about the fantasy slut league, but still agreed
with it. It shows how society is, and a lot of this comes from the media
promoting sex and dehumanizing women. Girls think it’s okay and normal for a
guy to get points for having sex with them. Pretty scary what our society has
come to and how girls are the ones targeted instead of boys.
The movie, Mean Girls is a perfect example of high school life, what girls
have to go through, and what they do to each other just to fit in. In this
movie there is a girl, played by Lindsey Lohan, who is attending a
new high school not knowing anyone. She just wants to fit
in and be accepted, but just ends up getting caught up in the typical
high school drama. She will do anything to be with this guy she has a
crush on. So she messed with the girl’s life that was with the guy she wanted.
She did that even if it meant turning her friends against her, giving her candy
bars to make her gain weight without her knowledge, and making her boyfriend
leave her. This movie shows how girls will break the rules for what they want.
In this movie there are also girl
rules that the popular girls, known as the plastics, go by. The rules are that
the “plastics” can only wear their hair up one time a week, they can only
wear jeans or track pants on Friday, they can't wear a tank top two days
in a row, they have to ask their friends before they ask someone to eat
lunch with the group, they can't buy an outfit before asking
their friends if it looks good first, and one of the “plastics” may
think they like someone but they could be wrong. If any of them break these
rules they can't sit with the “plastics” at lunch. "Ex-boyfriends are
off limits to friends. That's just like the rule of feminism"(Gretchen
Wieners- one of the plastics). Being a girl, there is a lot expected from
peers and society. It’s good that women can at least show their emotions
according to the norms in society.
In high school, having a boyfriend
might seem like the most important thing in the world, but trust me
it’s not. I can say from experience the worst thing a girl could do is
fall in love in high school. I was in a relationship from freshman to senior
year and now I wish I could take it back and have that time spent having fun
and enjoying those years. If any girl can help it, it’s best not to get
involved in anything serious in high school. Now this doesn't mean go run
around and be a slut, because the only thing worse than being in love in high
school is being hated by other girls for hooking up with their boyfriends, or
with someone that they liked. This is meant to be the time of your
life, not full of stress and worry.
It is scientifically proven that
boys take a longer time to mature then girls, and that is a major reason that
girls date older guys. Not only is this true, but also, guys are taught as
young children how to act and speak to people. According to Michael Kimmel,
there are four major guy rules. These include "no sissy stuff",
"be a big wheel", "be a sturdy oak", and
"give em hell". These rules translate into be a man, don't
cry, be brave, be strong, be reliable, and live life on the edge. Guys continue
to live by these rules throughout their lives and that is why this is a
male dominated society. The real guys top ten list goes as follows: boys don't
cry, it's better to be mad than sad, don't get mad- get even, take it like a
man, he who has the most toys when he dies wins, just do it, size matters,
don't stop and ask for directions, nice guys finish last, and it's all good. These
rules are evidence of why males have to put on the role of tough or mean guy to
girls especially at a young age.
No wonder guys can seem so cold
hearted; everything is about competition and winning for them. When little boys
are growing up, they learn from their fathers that being a man is being tough
and brave, which has been taught for decades. According to Michael Kimmel,
machoism and masculinity starts when boys are being taught these things, but
also in high school when they are blooming. Also, guys are called names and put
down when they don't meet the masculinity of another guy. This is crucial
because it can lead to violence or abuse from guys to girls because the guy will
have lower self-esteem and need to prove his machoism somewhere.
So girls may think that they have it
hard, which they do, but now it’s clear to see what guys are going through
also. Imagine not being able to show emotions all the time, and being called
a loser when crying. Imagine getting hit really hard in the face with
something and just having to brush it off and being expected to know how
to fix something. If they can’t then
they are looked down upon, or talked down on. This may help high school
girls to realize why guys are the way that they are. They are supposed to
save the girl, and be the hero. Also, when guys are around their friends, they
have to put on even more of a front; especially in high school. For example, a
guy who is asked by his girlfriend to go grab her purse, in front of his
friends, will probably say no, because even if he wants to help his girlfriend
out, he has to put on a front.
Another factor is the time people
are living in. It's 2012 about to be 2013, and things have changed a lot in the
past decade. For instance, media used to portray men as husbands, loving only
one lady, and living happily ever after. Now a day it's all over media that men
are players, and that they should be with a lot of women. This can also make
girls extremely insecure, as they think they should be the one and only, but
the guy is trying to keep his image up. Unfortunately, women are supposed to be
pure and innocent, and when they’re not they are discriminated against,
while men are praised. If a man has sex with a lot of women he is a pimp or a
player, but if women have sex with a lot of men she is considered a slut or
hoe. Why is this? I still don't understand the logic behind this. That's
probably because there is no logic in that. Society is just geared to
think that way.
Now I am not trying to scare freshman
girls, but simply warn them what to expect from boys, and to understand the
way people are going to act and think. High School girls are about to
embrace a life changing journey that will shape the person that they will
become. I suggest that they don't let peer pressure and media make their
decisions for them. I am hoping that I have given them some knowledge now of
why boys act the way that they do, and that they will understand that it isn't them
or anything they are doing wrong, but societal roles at play.
Thanks for listening,
Genevieve V.
REFERENCES
Kimmel, Michael. ""Bros
before Hos": The Guy Code." Rereading America: Cultural Contexts for
Critical Thinking and Writing. By Gary Colombo, Robert Cullen, and Bonnie
Lisle. 8th ed. Boston: Bedford of St. Martin's, 1992. 608-17. Print.
Martinez, Michael. "Principal
Reports High Schoolers' 'Fantasy Slut League' - CNN.com."CNN. Cable News
Network, 23 Oct. 2012. Web. 16 Nov. 2012.
<http://www.cnn.com/2012/10/23/us/california-fantasy-slut-league-school/index.html>.
Mean
Girls. Dir. Mark Waters. Perf. Lindsey Lohan and Tina Fey. THEVID Technicolor
Distribution Services, 2004. DVD.
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