High school can be difficult, especially for girls. There are going to be a lot of things that girls haven't experienced before that they will these next four years. Guys can be jerks, but it is part of what is expected from them by society. I am going to fill freshman girls in on some secrets and explain to them why things are the way that they are between the opposite sexes. furthermore, don't have a relationship in high school. have fun and enjoy these four years. My explanations and examples will come from the movie Mean Girls, starring Lindsey Lohan, the essay "Bros before Hos": The Guy Code, by Michael Kimmel, “The Fantasy Slut League”, from Piedmont High, and of course my own experience. I believe every girl should go into high school with some prior knowledge of males roles in society.
As a young girl entering high school, girls may not realize or even believe everything I am going to tell them. But I am speaking from experience because I was once that young girl and have just now started to realize a lot of things I didn't know then. As any high school girl I'm sure the things on mind are clothes, music, friends, parties, and boys of course. At this point in life those things are the most important and when something goes wrong girls may think the world is over and trust me I've been there. My mom use to tell me not to get serious with a guy and that they were just boys, but I didn't care to listen. I am just trying to give the advice and information that I wish I listened to going into high school.
Being a girl that is entering high school means a lot of peer pressure, sex, drugs and alcohol, love, hate, temptations, need to fit in, trying to be accepted, getting boys attention, and many other factors. For example there is a school called Piedmont High School and there is a fantasy slut league that was created by boys to earn points for having sexual encounters with certain girls. This league had been going on for years with no prior knowledge about it, but it is said that all activity has stopped. Girls need to be wanted and even if it comes to being degraded it becomes okay as long as it earns then some popularity points and a feeling of being needed. It is very sad that some of the girls at Piedmont High School admitted to knowing about the fantasy slut league, but still agreed with it. It shows how society is and a lot of this comes from the media promoting sex and dehumanizing women. Girls think its okay and normal for a guy to get points for having sex with them. Pretty scary what our society has come to.
The movie Mean Girls is a perfect example of high school life and what girls have to go through and what they do to each other to fit in. In this movie there is a girl, played by Lindsey Lohan, who is attending a new high school not knowing anyone. She just wants to fit in and be accepted, but just ends up getting caught up in the typical high school drama. She will do anything to be with this guy she has a crush on. So she messed with the girl’s life that was with the guy she wanted. She did that even if it meant turning her friends against her, giving her candy bars to make her gain weight without her knowledge, and making her boyfriend leave her. This movie shows how girls will break the rules for what they want. High school is the most
In this movie there are also girl rules that the popular girls, known as the plastics, go by. The rules are the “plastics” can only wear their hair up one time a week, they can only wear jeans or track pants on Friday, they can't wear a tank top twodays in a row, they have to ask their friends before they ask someone to eat lunch with the group, they can't buy an outfit before asking their friends if it looks good first, and one of the “plastics” may think they like someone but they could be wrong. If any of them break these rules they can't sit with the “plastics”at lunch. "Ex-boyfriends are off limits to friends. That's just like the rule of feminism"(Gretchen Wieners- one of the plastics). Being a girl, there is a lot expected from peer pressure and society. It’s good that women can at least show their emotions according to the norms in society.
In high school having a boyfriend might seem like the most important thing in the world , but trust me it’s not. I can say from experience the worst thing a girl could do is fall in love in high school. I was in a relationship from freshman to senior year and now I wish I could take it back and have that time spent having fun and enjoying those years. If any girl can help it, it’s best not to get involved in anything serious in high school. Now this doesn't mean go run around and be a slut, because the only thing worse than being in love in high school is being hated by other girls for hooking up with their boyfriends or someone that they liked. This is meant to be the time of your life, not full of stress and worry.
It is scientifically proven that boys take a longer time to mature then girls, and that is a major reason that girls date older guys. Not only is this true, but also guys are taught as young children how to act and speak to people. According to Michael Kimmel, there are four major guy rules. These include "no sissy stuff", "be a big wheel", "be a sturdy oak", and "give em hell". These rules translate into be a man and don't cry, be brave, be strong, be reliable, and live life on the edge. Guys continue to live by these rules throughout their lives and that is why this is a male dominated society. The real guys top ten list goes as follows: boys don't cry, it's better to be mad than sad, don't get mad- get even, take it like a man, he who has the most toys when he dies wins, just do it, size matters, don't stop and ask for directions, nice guys finish last, and it's all good. No wonder guys can seem so cold hearted; everything is about competition and winning for them. When little boys are growing up they learn from there fathers that being a man is being tough and brave, which has been taught for decades. According to Michael Kimmel, macho ism and masculinity starts when boys are being taught these things but also in high school when they are blooming. Also guys are called names and put down when they don't meet the masculinity of another guy.
So girls may think that they have it hard, which they do but now it’s clear to see what guys are going through also. Imagine not being able to show emotions all the time and being called a loser when crying. Imagine getting hit really hard in the face with something and just having to brush it off and being expected to know how to fix something and if not then you are look down on or talked down on. This helps girls to realize why guys are the way that they are. They are supposed to save the girl and be the hero. Also when guys are around their friends they have to put on even more of a front, especially in high school. For example, a guy who is asked buy his girlfriend to go grab her purse, in front of his friends, will probably say no, because even if he wants to help his girlfriend out he has to put on a front.
Another factor is the time people are living in. It's 2012 about to be 2013 and things have changed a lot in the years. For instance media use to portray men as husbands and loving with one lady and living happily ever after. Now a days it's all over media that men are players and that they should be with a lot of women. This can also make girls extremely insecure, as they think they should be the one and only, but the guy is trying to keep his image up. Unfortunately women are supposed to bepure and innocent and when they’re not they are discriminated while men are praised. If a man has sex with a lot of women he is a pimp or a player, but if women have sex with a lot of men she is considered a slut or hoe. Why is this? I still don't understand the logic behind this. That's probably because there is no logic in that. Society is just geared to think that way.
Now I am not trying to scare freshman girls, but simply warn them what to expect from boys and the way people are going too act and think. High School girls are about to embrace a life changing journey that will shape the person that they become. I suggest that they don't let peer pressure and media make thierdecision for them. I am hoping that they have some knowledge now of why boys act the way that they do and that they realize it isn't them or anything they are doing wrong. And now they can make the choice of getting into a relationship in high school or not. Best of luck
Thanks for listening,
Genevieve V.
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