Dear freshman girl,
High school can be
very hard, especially for us girls. There are going to be a lot of things that
you haven't experienced before that you will these next four years. Guys can be
straight assholes but it is part of what is expected from them. I am going to
fill you in on some secrets and explain to you why things are the way that they
are between the opposite sexes. My explanations and examples will come from the
movie Mean Girls, staring Lindsey Lohan, the essay "Bros before Hos":
The guy code, by Michael Kimmel, and of course my own experience.
As a young
girl entering high school, you may not realize or even believe everything I am
going to tell you. But I am speaking from experience because I was once that
young girl and have just now started to realize a lot of things I didn't know
then. As any high school girl I'm sure the things on your mind are clothes,
music, friends, parties, and boys of course. At this point in life those things
are the most important and when something goes wrong you may think the world is
over and trust me I've been there.
Being a girl that
is entering high school means a lot of peer pressure, sex, drugs and alcohol,
love, hate, temptations, need to fit in, trying to be accepted, getting boys
attention, and many other factors. For example there is a school called piedmont
High school and there is a fantasy slut league that was created by boys to earn
points for having sexual encounters with certain girls. Girls need to be wanted
and even if it comes to being degraded it becomes ok as long as it earns then
some popularity points. It is very sad that some of the girls at piedmont High
school admitted to knowing about the fantasy slut league, but still agreed with
it. It shows how our society is and a lot of this comes from the media
promoting sex and dehumanizing women.
The movie Mean Girls is a perfect example
of high school life and what girls have to go through and what they do to each
other to fit in. In this movie there is a girl, played by Lindsey Lohan, who is
going to high school not knowing anyone. She just wanted to fit in and be
accepted, but just ended up getting caught up in the typical high school drama.
She would do anything to be with this guy she had a crush on. So she messed
with the girl’s life that was with the guy she wanted. She did that even if it meant
turning her friends against her, giving her candy bars to make her gain weight
without her knowledge, and making her boyfriend leave her. This movie shows how
girls will break the rules for what they want.
In this movie
there are also girl rules that the popular girls, known as the plastics, go by.
The rules are you can only wear your hair up one time a week, you can only wear
jeans or track pants on Friday, you can't wear a tank top two days in a row,
you have to ask your friends before you ask someone to eat lunch with us, you
can't buy an outfit before asking your friends if it looks good first, and you
may think you like someone but you could be wrong. If you break these rules you
can't sit with us at lunch. "Ex-boyfriends are off limits to friends.
That's just like the rule of feminism"(Gretchen Wieners). As a girl a lot
is expected from you also, you have to obey the rules of fashion, be
courteousness to your friends, and control that you like and don't like. At
least as girls we can do this with emotions showing.
Do you think a guy
would do any of those things for you? Or for any girl? I’m guessing probably
not. I know in high school having a boyfriend might seem like the most
important thing in the world to you, but trust me it’s not. I can say from
experience the worst thing you could do is fall in love in high school. I was
in a relationship from freshman to senior year and now I wish I could take it
back and have that time spent having fun and enjoying those years. If you can
help it, don't get involved in anything serious in high school. Now this
doesn't mean go run around and be a slut, because the only thing worse than
being in love in high school is being hated by other girls for hooking up with
their boyfriends or someone that they liked. This is meant to be the time of
your life, not full of stress and worrying.
It is
scientifically proven that boys take a longer time to mature then girls, and
that is a major reason that girls date older guys. Not only is this true, but
also guys are taught as young children how to act and speak to people.
According to Michael Kimmel, there are four major guy rules. These include
"no sissy stuff", "be a big wheel", "be a sturdy
oak", and "give em hell". These rules translate into be a man
and don't cry, be brave, be strong, be reliable, and live life on the edge.
Guys continue to live by these rules throughout their lives and that is why we
live in a male dominated society. The real guys top ten list goes as follows:
boys don't cry, it's better to be mad than sad, don't get mad- get even, take
it like a man, he who has the most toys when he dies wins, just do it, size
matters, don't stop and ask for directions, nice guys finish last, and it's all
good. No wonder guys can seem so cold hearted; everything is about competition
and winning for them.
So us girls may
think we have it hard, which we do but now we can see what guys are going
through also. Imagine not being able to show your emotions all the time and
being called a loser when you cried. Imagine getting hit really hard in the
face with something and just having to brush it off and being expected to know
how to fix something and if you don't then you are look down on or talked down
on. This helps us to realize why guys are the way that they are. They are supposed
to save the girl and be the hero. Also when guys are around their friends they
have to put on even more of a front, especially in high school. If you leave
your shoes outside and you ask your boyfriend to get them he probably won't if
is friend is right there, because he can't look like a sissy or a whimp.
Another factor is
the time we are living in. It's 2012 about to be 2013 and things have changed a
lot in the years. For instance media use to portray men as husbands and loving
with one lady and living happily ever after. Now a days it's all over media
that men are players and that they should be with a lot of women. This can also
make girls extremely insecure, as they think they should be the one and only,
but the guy is trying to keep his image up. Unfortunately women are supposed to
be pure and innocent and when there not they are discriminated while men are
praised. If a man has sex with a lot of women he is a pimp or a player, but if women
have sex with a lot of men she is considered a slut or hoe. Why is this? I
still don't understand the logic behind this. That's probably because there is
no logic in that. Our society is just geared to think this way and it is what
media portrays, in both music and movies.
Now I am not
trying to scare you, but simply warn you what you are to expect from boys and
the way people are going too act and think. You are about to embrace a life
changing journey that will shape the person you become. I suggest that you
don't let peer pressure and media make that decision for you. I am hoping that
you have some knowledge now of why boys act the way that they do and that you
realize it isn't you or anything you are doing wrong. Keep being a strong girl
and you will be just fine. Best of luck!
Thanks for listening,
Genevieve V.
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